Allergies on the down-low

For many years of my life I avoided eating sesame buns with my burgers. One day I decided to try it (knowing that if I had an allergic reaction, it would only be as minor as an itchy throat). I was completely fine. Yet, I am still highly allergic to hummus, which has a major ingredient of sesame. Weird, right? Often, when foods get cooked, the proteins in them that cause allergic reactions are killed. The sesame seeds on bagels and hamburger buns are cooked and aren't harmful to me. 

The same goes with many oils. Often, cheap oils are cooked and therefore don't have the ability to cause an allergic reaction. For example, I'm allergic to coconuts, (common for those with nut allergies), yet I can still eat packaged ice cream that has coconut oil. However, in restaurants the oils are often "cold pressed" and can still cause reactions. I usually avoid these oils at all cost just because I'll never really know if they'll cause an allergic reaction. 

We're allergic to the food, not the topic

We allergy kids know you mean well by not bringing up our allergies. You don't want us to feel bad. Yeah, it's nice if you don't eat that stuff in front of us. That doesn't mean we'll be offended if you talk about the foods. We're allergic to the food, not the topic! 
My friends often apologize when they talk about nuts. If they say they love nutella, they quickly apologize to me as if I'd burst into hives just from hearing them! Don't apologize. I don't care if people like foods that I'm allergic to or if they want to talk about it. It's not like people refrain from talking about ice cream in front of lactose-intolerant people. We're not dying or diseased! You can talk about it in front of us and we won't mind. (I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I feel annoyed every time people act like I'll be offended)

As a little kid, I was sometimes made fun of because of my allergy. "Ha ha you can't have this" was expected to make me feel bad. I learned that showing that I absolutely didn't care and it didn't affect me caused them to stop. What was the point in making fun of me if I didn't care? Allergy kids shouldn't let these kind of things bother them, especially since it's often harmless. 
A common response I used and still use is "I wouldn't like it anyway." And this is absolutely true. I've found that the things I'm allergic to have a distinct taste and scent that is repulsive and nauseating to me. It must be instinctual; my body's probably warning me that I should not eat whatever it is. Often when I've eaten something with nuts (without knowing) I immediately taste something wrong. Peanut butter and oranges smell and taste strong and almost noxious.

The "May Contained" Situation

Restaurants:
When you ask restaurants or bakeries if the food you're buying contains whatever you're allergic to, a common answer you will get is: "We can't guarantee anything because there might be cross-contamination / they were made near each other." Now, this might make you want to back off and give up purchasing the food. But I'd eat the food anyway. Why? The chance of it actually containing the things I'm allergic to is extremely low. The cooks are required to say that because they don't want to be blamed if something actually happens. 
I still need to be prepared, but I want to eat in restaurants like everyone else.

Even so, I can't guarantee you anything. This is just what I do. If I want to eat a brownie that doesn't have nuts in its ingredients but was made in the same kitchen as nuts, I'll eat it. 
HOWEVER, if the person selling the food doesn't know for sure if it contains the thing you're allergic to, DON'T TAKE THE CHANCE. Too many times I've eaten a home-baked good after the baker told me he/she was "pretty sure" there weren't any nuts...this was false and I suffered as a result. Make sure the person talks to the chef or reads the ingredients. Even if an innocent mom brings in cookies or candy, make sure she's read the ingredients on the package.



Buying packaged food:
Often, when you read the ingredients to packaged food you'll see a "may contain" list. Similar to my restaurant explanation, the companies don't want to get in trouble if any cross-contamination occurs. Having an allergic reaction to something on the "may contain" list is very unlikely. 
I'm in love with chocolate, and many of my favorite candies have nuts on their "may contain list." It seems silly to give up my Crunch and Hershey's just because they were made in the same factory as candies with nuts.